The Bandit
That darn raccoon is back. As I wrote in a previous post, the other day I went to throw out the trash, and as I opened the door to the dumpster/compactor, I was confronted by a raccoon noshing on some leftovers. Suffice it to say, the Raccoon outwitted me, and I had to leave my bag of trash by the side of the dumpster and walk away defeated.
Now he's back, and this time it's personal! I wasn't going to be beaten twice by a dude that lives in garbage. Well, there was that time in the 34th Street subway that a man beat me in a game of cribbage while living in his own filth, but no garbage dwelling man (or creature) beats me three times!
I walked up the trash compactor, opened the door, and said, "Listen! I have a bag of trash here, and I mean to compact it, and not you, or anybody that looks like you is going to stop me! What do you have to say about that, bro?" Just then, the raccoon jumped back behind an empty box of wine. Success! I had met my adversary on the field of battle and vanquished him. I placed the trash bag into the compactor and started to close the door. Just then, I heard a small voice say, "I'm not your bro."
You CAN Go Home Again
On my way back to Florida, I sat next to that guy on the airplane. You know the guy to whom the rules do not apply? Yeah, that's the guy. You sat next to him once, too?
I upgraded to first class for my trip from a windy Newark Liberty International airport. It only cost me $60! With the delays caused by the high winds and the extra volume of holiday travelers, I was so glad to be able to get on (and off) the plane first, enjoy a wide seat, and get (as it turns out) really good food and drinks. As I settled into my 3rd row seat, the flight attendant asked me if I would trade seats with a woman in the first row bulkhead. There are no seats in front of the seats in the bulkhead row, so the woman in question had to put her case in the overhead. She had special medical issues, and she needed to be able to access her carry-on during the flight. Being the good sport that I am, I agreed and traded with her. I think the whole 'special medical needs' was just a ruse to get away from that guy.
