The Bandit
That darn raccoon is back. As I wrote in a previous post, the other day I went to throw out the trash, and as I opened the door to the dumpster/compactor, I was confronted by a raccoon noshing on some leftovers. Suffice it to say, the Raccoon outwitted me, and I had to leave my bag of trash by the side of the dumpster and walk away defeated.
Now he's back, and this time it's personal! I wasn't going to be beaten twice by a dude that lives in garbage. Well, there was that time in the 34th Street subway that a man beat me in a game of cribbage while living in his own filth, but no garbage dwelling man (or creature) beats me three times!
I walked up the trash compactor, opened the door, and said, "Listen! I have a bag of trash here, and I mean to compact it, and not you, or anybody that looks like you is going to stop me! What do you have to say about that, bro?" Just then, the raccoon jumped back behind an empty box of wine. Success! I had met my adversary on the field of battle and vanquished him. I placed the trash bag into the compactor and started to close the door. Just then, I heard a small voice say, "I'm not your bro."
